By Lorin Gaudin

It’s a familiar morning-after sentiment: I will never drink (your poison here) again. NEVER! With pounding head, cottony mouth, and queasy stomach, a remedy seems elusive. If you can handle the glare of your computer screen and want some relief, read on.

Facing the hangover blues is a daunting task and everyone has an opinion as to the sure cure. It’s will come as no surprise that the same thing doesn’t work for everybody. Therefore, I dived deep into the subject, conducting informal polls and of course performing hands-on research. I offer my results below.

Interestingly, everyone can agree, it’s all about re-hydration. Replacing lost fluids is the key. Whether its the hair of the dog, V-8, orange juice, Coke or water, large quantities are apparently in order. Other universal remedies include Alka-Seltzer, aspirin or acetaminophen. The list is endless and I found some that are old, strange, strange plus old, new and, even cyber-hip.

One very charming society doyen provided me with a lengthy recipe that had been in her family for generations. I didn’t have the heart to let on that her brew had a name: Virgin Bloody Mary. Another oldie that cropped up was black coffee (so much for the re-hydration theory).

The oldest remedy I found came from a paper about cabbage. Following the cultivation of cabbage in Rome 2500 years ago, the ancient Romans believed that the vegetable prevented intoxication if served while drinking alcohol and would soothe aching heads if eaten the morning after. Bad breath and gas are not only distracting, herein lies yet another possible explanation for the tradition of eating cabbage on New Years Day.

Latin countries culinary offering is Menudo, a soup whose main ingredient is tripe (the lining of a cow’s stomach). If you can get past that and the slightly chewy texture, it does have a pleasant taste and damn it all, it cures what ails. The Vietnamese also eat soup with tripe (Pho dac biet). This too was curative following an unbridled night of sake swilling.

Louisiana’s own Creole and Cajun people of the 1800’s had folk remedies for symptoms associated with a hangover. If one became pique (Creole colloquialism for drunk) and awoke the following day with a headache, the prescribed remedy might have included placing banana leaves on your forehead, or wrapping your head in leaves of the castor oil plant. How about a magic charm like this: tie 9 knots in a string and wear it around your neck. Tie that string tight enough and it could work.

There are also a number of alternative medicine remedies. A local aroma therapist provided me with a recipe for a drink consisting of water, lime or lemon juice and a couple drops of fennel essential oil. An Ayurvedic version is made with limejuice and cumin. Natural medicine (Homeopathy), in the “what’s in a name” category, offers little pills called Nux Vomica. From the existentialist I heard, “Everyone knows there is no real cure for a hangover except time…and whats the point anyway?” Very bleak.

The Internet is a dizzying blur of hangover information, recipes, and products. There is actually a web site called hangovercure.com. There is also a web site hawking Music for Hangovers. The advertised compact disk is 90 minutes long and is without any rhythm, cord progression or melody. Hmmmm.

Virtually every bar and bartender across the country has a remedy to share and most establishments will gladly help before the hangover and after. One French Quarter Bar tender told me that he gives the alcohol impaired a nasty tasting aperitif made with an Italian liquor called Fernet Branca, soda water and a squeeze of lime or lemon. FOr me, this “cure” resulted in my giving new meaning to prayer at the porcelain altar and more importantly did nothing to help.

On the somewhat health conscious front, a local fitness guru actually had the audacity to suggest that exercise will relieve a hangover. I was surprised to learn there are a lot of people who exercise to sweat out their hangover. A former sports writer of my acquaintance swears by a brisk run as relief. Health professionals brag that, after a night of heavy drinking, just hook up to an IV bag and an hour or so later you are back on track. Maybe these guys can open a clinic.

In short, the only sure fire ways to avoid a hangover are: 1) abstain; and 2) don’t drink enough to get drunk. During this intensely spirited time of year, have fun but remember to drink responsibly. If not, there’s always a remedy…if you’re brave enough.

Filed Under: Food Talk